Michele Humes (I live in New York and I write about food.)

Seven Tropes of Objectionable Food Writing

1. My Sainted Grandmother’s Baked _______.
2. Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, and Here’s a Recipe.
3. My Lyrical Voice Finds Its Fullest Expression in Wine Tasting Notes.
4. I Can’t See the Forest; I Can’t Even See the Trees—I’m Too Busy Counting the Stomata On The Underside of This Leaf. I May Have Asperger’s Syndrome. (See “Cook’s Illustrated.”)
5. This Market-Driven Restaurant Offers a Mineral-Driven Wine List. Me, I’m Drivel-Driven.
6. It’s Ethnic Holiday X That I Don’t Celebrate, Let’s Arbitrarily Make Ethnic Dish Y.
7. Gross Is Synonymous with Authentic, I Looked It Up in My Imaginary Thesaurus. Please Pass the Rat Spleen.