Michele Humes (I live in New York and I write about food.)

Two Ballads That Could Be Characterized As Overreacting to Manageable Instances Of Food Loss

Herman’s Hermits’ “No Milk Today”:

No milk today, my love has gone away
The bottle stands forlorn, a symbol of the dawn
No milk today, it seems a common sight
But people passing by, they don’t know the reason why
How could they know just what this message means
The end of all my hopes, the end of all my dreams 

Richard Harris’s “MacArthur Park”:

Someone left the cake out in the rain
And I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have the recipe again
Oh no 

I know what you’re going to say: that these are “metaphors.” Well, they are not good ones.